


Us Plus 1

by Loveislove87



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: AU, Angst, Fluff, M/M, PTSD implied, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20470169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: Boy has bad day.  Boy meets boy.





	1. Chapter 1

He had been having an absolute shit day; one oddball disaster after another. 

A particularly graphic nightmare had led to an assault of images that kept him gulping for air and covered in sweat most of the night. He was finally able to collapse into dreamless sleep around 5am meaning he slept right through his 7am alarm telling him to get his ass up for PT. He practically flew his car to the office, desperate to be seen since he'd fucked up his hip a bit a few days ago going too hard at the gym, but the woman behind the desk said he'd have to reschedule. He left the office, now limping and quietly fuming, to find a parking ticket sitting on his windshield. He walked through his front door to find the power out, no obvious cause to be found, so getting work done was out of the question. When the power finally burst back to life almost four hours later, the wi-fi refused to connect. Before Alex decided to chuck his computer out the window, he headed back out. 

There was a little cafe he liked, geared towards a different kind of customer than himself, but it was quiet and the staff were nice and the place always smelled like apples. He headed in and was greeted by a bright smile and long, brown hair. As soon as Kacey saw him walk through the door she had started his order.

It was nice to feel welcome somewhere.

"Haven't seen you in a few days. You okay?" Alex was glancing at a hot pink print out scotch taped to the counter top promoting a local band, Rat's Mouth. He just laughed and shook his head.

"Work. Always work." Kacey turned, his coffee in a to-go cup despite always staying to people watch. Alex liked the option of being able to leave as soon as he wanted to.

"That's why you can't work for the man, bro! He'll keep you distracted...$3.45 please...from the real issues and then when...it's real hot, be careful...it's the perfect time for you to act, BAM," she clapped her hands together, "you missed your chance 'cause you were at work like the robot they want you to be."

Alex laughed and shook his head. "This isn't you working for the man?" 

Kacey lowered her chin and raised her eyebrows. "Hell, fucking, no. I work for an independently owned, community based, small business."

Alex smirked. "Which is independently owned as a cooperative endeavor where you have a stake in the business as well as all of it's customers?"

Kacey's face shifted into something resembling a cartoon villain. "I work for a dude named Marc now shut up and sit down. I'll bring you a muffin if you don't give me anymore shit."

Alex dramatically bowed his head in thanks and offered Kacey a wink. He turned, smiling to himself and feeling some of the weight of the day lifting, when he bumped into something solid.

"Ow, fuck that's hot." 

Alex quickly reached behind him to grab napkins, ignoring the burning he felt in his fingers from the dripping coffee. "I'm so sorry. I didn't see-" 

_Jesus Christ_.

He stood frozen, hand still outstretched where he had handed off the napkins. This man, covered in burning hot hazelnut coffee, was fucking perfect. Curly hair, rough beard, perfect build, unique style. He looked up at Alex after wiping his pornographically tight white shirt off. Of course he had the most stunning eyes Alex had ever seen. They were this light brown, almost golden; wide and bright and kind.

"I'll make you a new one, Cap. Just have a seat." Kacey interrupted their starring contest while she cleaned up the floor in front of them. Alex snapped out of his daze and looked down, meeting her eye where she wiggled her eyebrows and gave a wink. Alex just rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, Kace." 

Alex backed up a bit, giving her room when he heard, "Cap?"

God, even this man's voice was attractive. He cleared his throat, desperate not to sound like a squeaking fourteen year old boy. "Unapproved nickname. Retired Air Force."

The other man opened his mouth with an "ah" and gave a small nod. "Well thank you for your service, Captain." Alex's knees almost buckled when Mr. Perfection's mouth curved up into a side smile. 

Alex shifted his weight, preparing to dive in to some rusty attempts at flirting when he was interrupted by a small voice. "All done, daddy."

He looked down to find a matching set of brunette curls on a tiny, little girl. She was maybe five and Alex couldn't help but think she looked like a cool kid. She had on a pair of jelly sandals with baggy jeans and a t-shirt that said _feminist like my dad._

"Excellent. Did you wash your hands?" The man received an enthusiastic nod in response. "Alright then," he picked up the girl and said, "time to pick your poison, kiddo."

Alex had silently stepped away but watched their exchange closely. He was totally disappointed that Mr. GQ was not batting for his team but he couldn't help but smile at the small glimpse he was able to witness of this father/daughter duo. A small pang of sadness pushed at his chest but he refused to give it life. _That_ was how a father should talk to a child. That's what a relationship _should_ look like. 

Alex let out a sigh and headed to his usual spot.

He pulled out his cellphone, absentmindedly scrolling through Buzzfeed when Kacey brought him a new coffee and a cinnamon streusel muffin, his favorite. 

"So what's happening there?" She gave a small nod to where Mr. Father of the Year had his daughter on his hip looking at the cookie display case. Alex blew on his coffee, "nothing. Just a guy I gave a second degree burn to."

Kacey put a few napkins on the table and tapped it with her finger for emphasis. "That's how all cheesy love stories begin, y'know?"

Alex grimaced. "With a burn injury?"

Kacey threw her head back with a load groan. "No! Some stupid shit happens, two people meet and BAM," again with the loud clapping, "they fall in love."

Alex's mouth hung open as he dumbly nodded his head. "Yep. Okay. Sure."

Kacey squinted at him before flicking him in the nose and heading back to the counter. Alex rubbed the tip of his nose, the flick surprisingly painful and tried to subtly sneak a peek at Mr. Amazing Ass. He was playing with the kid's hair, twirling her curls around a finger, while she held onto his pant leg and rested her head against his hip. 

Again, Alex couldn't help but smile. 

He busied himself with his coffee and muffin, stopping now and then to look out the big window that overlooked the main drag. Everyone was walking with such purpose, most people moving with their heads buried in their phones, barely looking at their surroundings or other people. Maybe Kacey was right. Maybe the man was taking over. 

He jumped a bit when a napkin was placed in front of him. He saw a series of numbers under a name. 

_Michael_

Alex looked up to find hazel perfection staring back at him. "If I'm wrong I apologize and you can feel free to throw that away," _Michael _ gestured to the napkin. "But if I'm right, I'd love it if you'd call or text me sometime."

_Michael_ smiled and turned to collect his daughter who had been busy quizzing Kacey on her Marvel knowledge. He picked her up with a growl and kissed her neck until she squealed with the tickles. She wrapped her tiny arms around her dad's neck, holding on to her bag of goodies for dear life. She gave Alex a toothy smile as they headed back out onto the street and Alex knew he looked like an asshole as he smiled back with equal enthusiasm.

He picked up the napkin and traced his finger over the name. _Michael_. Good name. Really good name.

What an awesome fucking day it had been.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy goes on date with boy. Plus a wild Valenti appears

Alex would later deny the full-on argument he had with himself when he got home that night.

"It's way too soon to text him." He was pacing, too amped up on adrenaline to feel his hip throb anymore. He kept turning his phone over in his hands, staring at the screen every time it lit back up, Michael's name and contact info glaring at him. 

"But he doesn't even know your name. No way are you gonna keep being Cap!" He stopped his movements and opened a new message.

_Hey_

_"_Ugh!" He threw his head back and practically stamped around his living room. "This is fucking ridiculous." He plopped onto the couch and tossed his phone to the side. With a moan of relief, he removed his prosthetic and massaged the stump. He really needed to take more breaks throughout the day.

"Alright, Manes. It's just a text. Just send a text."

With a deep breath he typed.

_Hey it's Alex from the coffee place_

_It was nice to meet you_

"It was nice to meet you?" He leaned back into the couch and covered his eyes with his forearm. "Excellent move, Mr. Rodgers. Let's be as formal as possible."

Alex leaned over the arm of the sofa for his crutches when a _ping _rang out through the cabin. He scrambled to reach his phone which had fallen awkwardly between the cushions. He got so excited it took about four times to get off his lock screen.

_Well hi Captain Alex, it was nice to meet you, too_

Alex giggled. Downright, fucking giggled, and then froze. Now what? Who goes next? Does he have to say something? Do you take turns or-

_I'm not really sure how to do this whole dating thing, haven’t worried about it in a long time_

Alex relaxed, releasing some tension from his shoulders.

_Thank god! I have no clue what I'm doing either_

He stood up after that and headed to the fridge for a beer. Where do people even go on dates anymore? You can't talk during a movie. Who pays if it's a meal? Anything too athletic might land Alex on his ass. The cafe was out. No way was Kacey gonna have a front seat to his first date since-

Another _ping _and Alex shuffled back to the couch. He smiled at the message, grateful Michael seemed to be ahead of his own anxious thoughts.

_I would love to be able to have an adult beverage for the first time in a while but I also feel the need to prove my ability to sport to an Air Force Captain so how about some tipsy mini-golf?_

Alex laughed as he typed his response, taking a swig of his beer.

_Sounds perfect_

************

"Stop worrying! You're gonna sweat yourself into a new outfit!" Kyle was sitting on his couch eating his potato chips, drinking his beer and watching his TV. He might even be wearing Alex's hoo-no he was definitely wearing Alex's hoodie.

"I'm just nervous!” Alex practically shouted with his arms thrown out to the side. “And when has that ever worked? Stop worrying! Calm down! It has the opposite effect, you know?" Kyle had been scrolling through his phone and when he glanced up, seemingly startled to find Alex leering at him, hands on his hips. With potato chip halfway to his mouth he said, "I'm sorry did you say something?"

“Ugh what are you even doing here?” Alex stole the chips from Kyle’s hands. “I’m here to support my friend getting back in the proverbial saddle! Now, Alex,” Kyle crossed one leg over the other and intertwined his fingers around his knee. “Would you like to tell Dr. Valenti why you’re feeling like such a tight ass this evening?”

Alex just made a disgusted face. “No and please don’t refer to yourself in the third person, thank you.”

Kyle let out a big sigh and slapped his knees as he stood. “Well, I’ve done all I can here. I expect a text, at minimum, once your date is over and,” he glanced at his watch, “it looks like you’re going to be at least five minutes late now.”

Alex’s eyes went wide as he checked his watch. “Oh fuck me!” With that he grabbed his coat and was out the door.

********

No one could prove he had given himself a pep talk all the way over the Wild Pony. He was nervous, so what? He hadn’t been on a date, really ever, and the last time he was with someone…well-

He pulled up and did a double take. He’d lived in Roswell for most of his life and was shocked he didn’t know this place existed. Clearly a dive bar, the neon sign at the end of its life, it was on the outskirts of town but he’d been out here before. He must have driven past without a second glance. He took a deep breath and wiped his hands on his jeans. 

“Just start walking, Manes. Just move.” He slowly opened the door and stepped out into the dusty parking lot. With each step bringing him closer to the door, his heart rate increased slightly. Once inside, though, he was relieved to find it quiet. There was practically no one there aside from a couple playing pool and a few men huddled at a table in the back of the room. He glanced around and found that gorgeous head of curls sitting alone at the bar. 

He headed over, the old homage _fake it ‘til you make it _on repeat in his head. He sat down quietly and offered a soft, “hi.”

Michael looked up with a wide smile and Alex felt his stomach flip. Jesus, this guy was beautiful.

“Hey. You find the place alright?” Alex nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t know this was here, though. I thought the GPS was wrong.”

Michael laughed and Alex found himself in a daze following suit. “The owner gets that a lot. You want a beer or something else?”

Alex nodded. “Beer sounds good.” Michael got the bartender’s attention and ordered for both of them. It wasn’t long before the silence kicked in and the awkwardness grew.

Michael was looking almost exclusively at his beer bottle, peeling the label little by little, while Alex felt himself shift on his stool after every sip of his drink. It was a nervous habit, needing to move when he was anxious, plus his hip was still sore, too.

“Look, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and Luna is always gonna come first.”

Alex had jumped a bit when Michael started talking, quite loudly, unprompted. He furrowed his brow and offered up a confused, “what?”

Michael let out a sound of frustration and ran his hand through his hair. Alex made a bet with himself that it was soft and smelled like honey.

“I’m sorry,” Michael shook his head. “I haven’t actually dated anyone since Luna, my daughter, was born and I just-I know that kids aren’t for everyone, so…”

Alex laughed but covered his mouth quickly when he saw Michael’s seemingly hurt reaction. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise. I’m laughing at us.” He shook his head and took a drink. “I was shitting myself over just texting you and I have been in a borderline panic since about six this morning over this date. I thought you were this cool, composed guy but you actually seem kinda messy.”

Michael laughed at that and bit his lip. Alex made a conscious decision to ignore the heat he felt move south. He slid his glass on the bar and clinked it with Michael’s bottle. “I’m messy, too.”

They locked eyes and right then Alex knew. Michael was gonna be his everything or he was gonna be the end of him.

“Maybe we should start over,” Michael said as he turned in his seat to face Alex straight on. He lifted his hand with, “Michael Guerin. Professor of Engineering, part time mechanic and proud dad.”

Alex smiled and shook Michael’s hand, getting lost for a second in the strong, callused grip he met. “Alex Manes. IT specialist, music nerd and mini-golf pro.”

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Oh really?” Alex smiled and nodded. “Really.”

Michael downed the remainder of his beer. “Challenge accepted.”

******

Alex fucking sucks at mini-golf but he really can’t remember the last time he had this much fun. The awkwardness from the bar had quickly dissipated once they had been honest about their first date nerves. Michael was funny and self-deprecating, never taking himself too seriously. He mentioned Luna a bunch, her excitement for Kindergarten, how smart she is, how independent, but Alex didn’t mind. For whatever reason, dating a guy with a kid wasn't bothering him. Maybe it was because Luna sounded so special. Or because her dad was so fucking hot.

Who knows?

“Alright, Manes. I’m officially ahead by about 10 strokes here.” 

“I can totally make a comeback. Don’t test me.” Alex lined up the club with his bright red ball, squinting one eye in an attempt to look like he had a fucking clue what he was doing. As he swung, Michael let out an obnoxious cough, making Alex jerk and look up while hitting his ball right into the little pond.

“Listen! I am bad enough as it is, I don’t need any extra help!” Michael laughed and threw his arms up in fake innocence. Alex headed over to the little water pool and sighed. He bent over to pick the ball up but stopped short as a shot of pain moved from his hip into his lower back. He stood quickly, hoping he covered it smoothly, and shifted his weight to find a new angle when he felt a comforting hand at his back.

“Hey, let me get it.” Michael bent over and grabbed the ball, dropping it the regulation six inches from the border. He headed back to his own ball and lined up his next shot. Without looking up he said, “you don’t have to tell me anything but I have noticed you’ve been limping and it looked like it hurt to bend.”

Alex moved his ball around with his club, slightly embarrassed and feeling the anxiety return again. He hadn’t needed to tell anyone about his leg yet so he had no idea how to talk about it or what to expect. He scratched his eyebrow and cleared his throat.

“I, uh, lost part of my leg in Iraq.” Michael hit the ball, getting it in no problem, and stood straight. “Oh shit. Like newly lost it?”

Alex shook his head. “About two years ago. I just overdid a workout the other day; kinda knocked my hip out a bit. Hence the limping.”

Michael nodded his head and smiled. “Your turn.” Alex gave a tentative smile in return and lined up his club once again.

“Are you happy with the prosthetic?” Alex looked up and his confusion at the question must have been obvious. Michael’s eyes got wide again and he shook his head. “No! Sorry. I don’t mean like _are_ _you happy you have one_, I mean is it comfortable? Do you feel like you have full range of motion?”

Alex raised one eyebrow at Michael and put some weight on the club. “Yes? My best friend’s a doctor so he makes me see all his contacts. He’s always claiming they’re _the best _so…”

“Excellent,” Michael smiled. “Now stop stalling, it’s your turn.”

Alex rolled his eyes with a quiet, “rude.” He hit the ball and got it in. “Ha! Turkey!”

Michael laughed and picked up their balls. “Turkey is bowling there, slick. Birdie is the word you're looking for. It’s called a birdie.” Alex shrugged and huffed. “Whatever. It took me less than five hits so I’ll call it whatever I want.”

Michael hadn’t moved, just standing on the green with a smile on his face. Alex smiled back until he felt like maybe he was missing something. “What?”

Michael moved then, slowly and with an almost shy look on his face. He stopped when he was practically chest to chest with Alex who could feel his heart beating in his throat. Michael met his gaze and leaned in, Alex melting with the soft, chaste kiss. When Michael pulled away, their foreheads remained touching and Alex realized Michael had an arm on his injured hip.

“I think you’re pretty fucking incredible, Cap.” Michael kissed him again then backed away, heading to the next hole. 

Alex looked down to make sure he wasn’t actually floating. He felt so light, so carefree. God, Michael was so-

His thoughts were interrupted by the _ping_ of his cellphone. He took it out of his pocket to glance at the new message but quickly shoved it back in his jeans with a “fucking Christ” and headed to meet Michael.

_You get the D yet, dude?_

God dammit, Kyle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love an AU. Thanks for reading!!
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr at captainsassmanes


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy gets ready for the big date with boy. Boy makes mistake then boy makes mistake.

Alex couldn’t remember the last time he was this happy. Everything in his life seemed to get better. Work wasn’t as bad, his cabin felt more comfortable, his friends were even commenting of how much more relaxed he seemed, how much more he smiled.

In the past three weeks, he and Michael had gone out about five times and each date had been better than the last. He discovered Michael had a love of astronomy, put all the money he made as a mechanic into Lexi’s savings account and played the guitar a bit. He also had two siblings, a brother he didn’t talk much to and a sister he worshiped. 

Alex had been a little less forthcoming with information, still a bit jumpy wondering if any of his past might jeopardize his future. But Michael didn’t seem to mind the small pieces Alex gave of himself and they kept having a good time. 

But now they were at three weeks. Date six. And Alex figured it was probably time to move forward in their relationship; the next step. 

The sex step.

He was nervous, for a multitude of reasons, not least of which was that he hadn’t had sex in a shockingly long time. And, of course, he stupidly let his mouth run away with him in front of Kyle.

“I’m sorry, you haven’t had sex since when?” Kyle was shoving popcorn into his mouth like someone was trying to steal it out of his hands. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “A long time, okay? I’m just-I’m not very social anymore and I never met anyone worth the trouble.”

Kyle laughed and choked on his snack. Once he shifted the offending kernel he said, “I don’t understand why everything requires a full-blown analysis.”

Alex sighed and sat on the couch next to Kyle, his head thumping against the back. “Because I’m fucked up, Kyle. You know that better than anyone.”

He heard the bowl make contact with the coffee table and turned his head to find Kyle turned on the couch to face him. “You like this guy?”

Alex nodded. Like wasn’t a strong enough word but he wasn’t going into_ that _now. “You find him attractive?” Alex ran a hand through his hair. “Yes.” 

Kyle lifted an eyebrow. “And you told him about the leg and he was cool with it?’ Alex couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah he was great.”

Kyle punched Alex in the arm, hard, and said, “then what the fuck’s the problem? Go get some dick, man, and have fun!”

Alex’s face scrunched up. “Don’t make it sound so romantic now.” But he had to admit Kyle was right. He liked Michael, a lot. And lord knows he wanted to have sex. He was making a way bigger deal out of this than he needed to. They were on solid ground, having a great time and Michael had been nothing but open and kind to him. 

He was worth the nerves. 

“Alright then.” He tapped Kyle on the knee. “Don’t wait up.” He collected his jacket and reached for the door but paused, turning back. “I’m just kidding about that part. Please go home.”

******

Alex walked into the Pony attempting to exude a confidence he didn’t quite feel but this place had definitely become much more comfortable to him over the past few weeks. It was a bit busier than usual, small groups of people who looked closer to Alex’s age gathered around here and there. There was a band setting up so maybe the call of live music had brought them in.

He continued to glance around but didn’t see Michael yet. He headed to the bar, figuring he’d order their drinks before the place got so loud he had to scream his order. When he sat down, a beautiful woman he hadn’t seen working before greeted him with a smile and, “whatcha havin’, sweetie?”

He smiled back and said, “two of whatever’s on draft is fine, thanks.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “You’re really diving in there, huh?” Alex laughed and shook his head. “Nah. Got a date coming. Figured I’d order for him so we can beat the band.”

The smile dropped off the bartender’s face and he was sure the same happened to his in response. “Are you the guy Guerin’s seeing?”

The way her voice dropped an octave and the way she seemed to be pulling him apart with her eyes made Alex shift in his seat. “Yeah. Why?”

She shrugged as she got his beer. “You’re just not his usual type.” 

Alex took deep breaths, in through his nose, subtly out through his mouth. His pulse was gaining volume in his ears but he could still focus. How could Michael have a type if he hadn’t dated in almost five years?

“What does that mean? Male?” Maybe this was a homophobic thing? He wasn’t as careful as he used to be about his pronoun usage.

She just laughed and placed the beers down in front of him, hands resting wide on the bar. “Oh no, honey, we all know about that. But he normally likes ‘em thin and young or tall and wide.”

Alex held onto his beer so tight he wondered if he could break the glass. He wasn’t sure at this point if he wanted Michael to show up and explain or if he wanted this stranger to keep going.

“I’m looking around now,” she either completely ignored his discomfort or was perhaps enjoying it, “and I’m pretty sure he’s taken home about half the room. He’s such a charmer, but you knew that.” She gave him a wink and headed off to serve another customer.

Alex tried to swallow back the lump in his throat but coughed instead. He felt the sting of tears and the beginning of an attack. He couldn’t do this. It wasn’t just that Michael lied about his history, although that really fucking sucked, it was that he thought it was something that unified them, made them alike, brought them together. They had talked about how uncomfortable they were dating, how awkward they could be, how they felt so inexperienced. And what? He’d actually been with an impressive chunk of the Roswell population?

Alex slid off the stool and headed toward the door. He felt his face pale and the sweating begin. He’d never be able to sleep with Michael now and why would Michael want him, anyway? He wasn’t the usual type; he’d be disappointed as soon as Alex took his clothes off, forget the leg. 

He opened the door and headed out into the night. He was a few steps from his car before he heard a “whoa” and felt a strong hand grab his arm. “Where are you going? Are you okay? You look sick!”

Alex couldn’t look at Michael, too angry and hurt. He also hadn’t had an attack outside of his own house in a long time and didn’t want to deal with that here. “I have to go.”

Alex tried to move to the Jeep but Michael was too quick and leaned his back against the driver’s door. He took both hands to Alex’s face and forced his head up. By now, tears stained his cheeks and he was having a hard time getting enough air.

“Oh my God, Alex what’s wrong?” Alex looked at Michael then, really looked. All he saw was genuine concern and worry but that made it worse, didn’t it? He could hide the lies so well?

“Get off of me.” Alex jerked his head out of Michael’s grip who looked startled as he held his hands up. 

“Alex, I don’t understand what’s going on. Did something happen?”

Alex put his hands on his hips and tried to regain his composure. His panic was starting to morph into anger but, sometimes, that could be just as unpredictable. 

“You told me you hadn’t been with anyone since Luna was born.” Michael’s brow furrowed and he shifted his weight. “Yeah. So?”

Alex laughed, humorless and furious. “I was just given a Cliff’s Notes version of why that’s apparently a lie.” 

The confusion dropped off of Michael’s face and what Alex could only describe as hesitation took its place. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Alex groaned and looked at the sky. It was a cloudless night, the stars shining against the black backdrop. Michael would love it.

“Did you sleep with a bunch of people? Like, potentially, half of the clientele in there tonight?” Alex didn’t mean for his voice to break but he was devastated, far more than he probably should be after only three weeks of dating.

Michael wiped his mouth with his hand and looked around the parking lot at nothing in particular. “Look, Alex—”

“It’s a yes/no question, Michael.” 

The silence dragged on for an uncomfortable amount of time; Alex determined to get an answer, Michael hoping he didn’t have to give one.

Eventually, Michael broke. “Yeah I did.”

Alex nodded, biting his lip to hold back the tears. “Okay.” He moved to his car and climbed in but Michael took hold of the door, not allowing it to close.

“So I’ve had sex, Alex! What’s the big deal? They didn’t mean anything, that’s why I didn’t tell you!”

“No no no.” Alex thought he could actually feel his chest pulling apart. “It’s not that you didn’t tell me. It’s that you specifically said you hadn’t. You chose to lie.”

Michael rolled his eyes and threw his arms out to the side. “So I didn’t want to talk about it. It’s not like I’m proud of myself, Alex!”

Michael’s chest heaved up and down. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was just semantics and they had misunderstood the other’s intention.

Alex let out a sigh and said, “Michael I—” but he was stopped when Michael shook his head with a soft, “no. Forget it. Maybe we can talk later or something. Just go home, Alex.” With that, he headed into the bar, head down, eyes on the ground.

Alex wiped his face and cursed at himself. He didn’t regret getting upset, knew he had the right to, but he could have asked Michael instead of accused him. Maybe there would have been a logical reason. 

He thought of Michael’s eyes, the hurt that had been there and the distance he saw as he walked away. 

Michael was worth it. He was worth the chance.

Alex turned off the car and headed back inside, determined to apologize for being so aggressive and asking Michael to talk, really talk. 

But when he walked in, he forgot everything he wanted to say. 

He saw Michael at the bar, head down toward his beer, and the bartender from earlier sitting next to him, running her hand through his curls. He moved closer, curiosity and self-torment, leading the way. Neither of the pair saw him or chose to acknowledge his presence if they did.

“So he left?” Her voice was far gentler than it had been with him. Michael nodded and took a gulp of his beer. 

“Maybe it’s for the best. If he didn’t want to hear what you had to say he’s not worth the trouble.” Her hand had moved from his curls to frame his jaw, her perfectly manicured fingers resting on his cheek.

Michael smacked his lips together and said, “yeah. He was no one anyway, right?”

And that was the moment Alex learned a heart could actually break. His chest had hurt for the past fifteen minutes or so, emotions swirling around and pulling him in too many directions, but this was so final. This was his worst fear. He meant nothing. He wasn’t wanted. Again.

He couldn’t help but let out a small, “what?”

It must have been louder than he thought when both of them turned to face him. The bartender put her scowl back in place but Michael stood quickly while he breathed out, “Alex.”

Alex just huffed and shook his head, backing out of the space. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

He turned and moved quickly, practically jogging back outside. He thought he heard Michael say to wait but there was no way. No way could he take yet another risk tonight. He got in his car and drove off as fast as he could. His hands shook and he struggled to stay focused on the road but he managed, miraculously to make it back to the cabin in one piece.

When he walked in, he found Kyle, sound asleep on the couch, TV illuminating the room in a blue-ish glow. The remnants of his anger came out and he kicked Kyle in the foot. “Get up, c’mon. Why are you always here?”

Kyle startled awake and looked confused at Alex. “What’s wrong?” 

Alex didn’t say anything, just kept moving slightly on his feet, feeling the breakdown coming and praying he could keep it locked up for just a little longer. 

“Something happened.” The kindness in Kyle’s voice was all it took for the tears to return. Kyle put his arm out and Alex accepted the invitation without hesitation. He hadn’t needed this kind of comfort from Kyle in a long time but he was so grateful to have it now. 

Alex laid down and put his head in Kyle’s lap, allowing himself to be angry and disappointed and embarrassed. 

Kyle sat quietly, carding his fingers through Alex’s hair until they both fell asleep.

******

Michael had headed home soon after Alex had driven away. He was furious with Maria, not realizing at first that she had intentionally told Alex that shit and then held him back so he couldn’t get to Alex before he was gone.

They’d be talking about that tomorrow.

He stopped at Jen’s house, Luna’s babysitter, to pick her up early. He had scooped her up, the little girl barely moving a muscle and drove her home. 

Michael helped her into her favorite Captain Marvel pajamas and tucked her into bed with a kiss. He debated downing some old Jack he had in the kitchen, to the point of actually reaching for the bottle, but in the end he knew it wouldn’t help. 

He got himself ready for bed but had struggled when he caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He really had fucked up. Maria shouldn’t have said anything but she’d told the truth and had no reason to believe Michael hadn’t done the same.

Why had he lied? Well, he knew the answer to that question but he wasn’t sure it’d be a good enough reason. And what the hell had possessed him to say Alex was no one?

Alex.

The first person Michael’s felt safe and comfortable with in a very, very long time. The man who snorts when he laughs too hard and who has a stick so far up his ass about music he’s a puppet. The man Michael was head over heels for and he ruined it. So fast.

He sat on the edge of his bed, head in his hands, replaying over and over how badly the night had gone. A creaking door caught his attention after a few minutes and he looked up to find a tired Luna in his doorway.

“What’s up, Buttercup?” She shuffled into the room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “Are you okay, daddy?”

Michael smiled. His girl had the heart of a giant, always concerned about everyone else’s happiness, especially his.

“Yeah, I’m alright. I just made a really big mistake today and it’s bothering me.” Michael covered his mouth in an attempt to shove the emotion back inside, unwilling to let his daughter worry for a second.

“I’ll sleep in here tonight then. You’ll feel better.” Luna was so matter of fact Michael could just smile. She climbed into his bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin. She would be lost in the sea of blankets if it wasn’t for the dark curls painted across the white pillowcase.

Michael turned off the light and climbed in next to her. As soon as his head hit the pillow, Luna shifted closer until her head was on his chest. He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair and breathing her in.

“A mistake is a lesson.” Michael pulled away a bit, unsure he heard what he thought he did. 

“What did you say?” Luna looked up at him with wide, dark eyes. “A mistake is a lesson. You always say that. It’s only bad if you don’t learn from it and don’t try to fix it, right?”

Michael smiled and nodded, which was enough for Luna to return to her previous position. “You can fix it tomorrow and then you’ll feel better.”

She was right. Just because tonight had been a cluster didn’t mean it had to stay that way. He’d make this better. He’d apologize and be honest, try to explain.

Alex was worth it.

“I love you, baby.”

“Love you too, daddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to write angst! I can't help myself!! And this story is NOT anti-Maria, I promise!  
Thanks for reading!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm trying to flex the fluff muscle here so I hope you enjoyed!  
Come say hi on Tumblr @scottt190


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